| WRIT 121 Spring 2009
There is a little demon that wanders blithely through our land, wreaking havoc where he will and finding enjoyment in pushing us to view the world in a decidedly self-centered way. This little imp named disrespect is chipping away at another piece of the strength of character that has upheld our nation through wars and domestic issues across the last two hundred years. The abrupt changes in our society over just the last few decades are devastating. Journey back through history a mere fifty years and you will notice a marked difference in the way that the American people raised children to be aware of society at large and the way our actions and attitudes affect those around us. Social acceptance or indifference to disrespect is cutting into the heart of our nation - the family, and wounding deeper than many of our generation understand.
My infant niece Savannah will one day become a woman. Who she becomes as a person will partially be formed by the circumstances that life throws her way, but the values exhibited to her by her parents and those they allow to influence her will play the largest part. As I watch her cutting teeth and learning to crawl, I have to wonder - who will she be in ten, fifteen, or twenty years from now? It's a given that parents are responsible to teach their children basic character qualities such as honesty and respect. However, many children grow into adolescence and then adulthood with no concept that the world is larger than themselves. These parents have failed to raise responsible adults. Where does the blame lie? What has caused such a tremendous rise in gross disrespect and the casting off of values once held dear? The lack of parental guidance is a large deficit in the lives of American youth. Children are sent off to school during the day, to a nanny after school is over, and often day camps in the summer. How many parents say "I'm busy, go watch some TV"? If they opened their eyes and watched some television with their children, they might notice some of these ugly traits being portrayed as normal behavior and "part of being a kid."
Children are the base existence of a nation, and when children, not raised to respect anything larger than themselves, become the adults and guiding force of that nation, the strength of the nation is diminished. I was raised with the view that, no, the world actually doesn't revolve around me. Growing up, I was encouraged to spend time with people older than myself -or at least more mature- for the simple fact that I am going to find more of life's answers from someone who's seen more of the road than I have. Look at our schools' grading systems: where is the personal growth when placed in a group of approximately the same social level? You simply learn more of what you know already -which is often what you picked up from TV and from the "cool" kid in class who doesn't mind telling the teacher off. As a child I often sat in awe as grandparents and older relatives or family friends told life stories and experiences. Grandpa would tell about growing up on a farm with 5 brothers and how an angry bull almost cost him his leg. Dad would tell about everything from tricking his sisters into letting him turn their two bikes into a tandem (didn't work) to an annoying rooster he and his friends finally tried to cook while staying in the Middle East. I learned that there was a moral to every story; don't irritate a bull if you can't outrun him, sisters taken advantage of will never let you forget it, and rooster meat can be tough but satisfying. Raised to understand that there are those who have lived more life than I have and that it benefits me to learn what I can from them, I paid attention. Any adult, any grandparent, or any who was given responsibility to watch over me was to be shown honor as one whom I should learn from. They had the advantage over me of a life lived and wisdom gained. And that realization is called respect. Realizing that those around me are every bit entitled to a good life as I am. Americans today, raised with little sense of respect and moral responsibility, show little care for the effect of their actions on others. Not to say that there is an absolute lack of the commodity, but it is at least severely limited to those who had some guiding force in their life, generally as a child, and generally as a result of good parenting.
"Put that back! It doesn't belong to you.", Mama gave me a firm look, and I solemnly placed the coin back on the sidewalk, sad that my new found riches were so suddenly gone. Maybe this example seems a harsh to some, but rather than harm me, those little lessons taught me the bigger lessons of life -to simply keep my hands off what doesn't belong to me- whether it's a penny on the sidewalk, a ten dollar bill, or a car. Another aspect of this is consistency. This was one thing my mother was totally consistant with. No matter how much we argued with her as we got older, saying, "Oh mama, no one cares if you pick up a dime off the ground.", she always came back with, "It's the principle. If it's not your's, don't take it. Then you'll never have to worry about getting in trouble about it. When you start letting the little things slide, the bigger things become excusable too. So just leave it." Our country would look much different if more children had lessons like that during their formative years. Looking in horror at the crime rates in our major cities, we are truly dismayed at the growing number of young criminals entering and staying in the system. We try to reform certain areas of their lives by providing schools with better funding and starting various community outreach programs. However, in treating the symptoms we see, the sickness remains. Why is it that children and young adults are more and more often caught stealing, dealing drugs, assaulting and even murdering? A youth will stand, looking in disdain at the judge, at the lawyers, and at people nearby. It's as if he doesn't see how anyone has a right to hold him accountable for his misdeeds. The families and family fragments that make up our nation many times have failed these individuals. When our children are not held responsible for their personal actions early on, they will not see any reason for that to change once they are older.
Change begins in the American home with parents dedicating themselves to raising a good child. As you know, no parent or child will ever be perfect. But until society reclaims respect as a value we want in our lives, we will continue to slide ever downward. And the little demon laughs.
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